I have been feeling very lazy these days. Here is how I changed: When I first started this weightloss journey, I felt very motivated and eager to start. From the first week, I did strict portion control, eating low-calorie and healthy food, and went boxing and running almost everyday. Continuing this sort of routine everyweek made me lose 10kg within less than two months and I felt so proud of my accomplishment. Here is when the bad part started. After achieving such a big success, I thought I deserved a little break. I started to increase the amount of cheat days without feeling that much guilty. Back then, I was very strict to myself that I would pack my own salad when I am having dinner with my friends outside. Now, I just eat everything and especially sweet stuff like cake and cookies (I was craving for sweets). I went exercising everyweek but not everyday. I used to have a recovery day because my ankle was aching due to the harsh workout routine. Now I don’t feel any pain on my ankle but I compromise to myself saying: I used to have a recovery day so I should have one. It has been… like 3 weeks since I stopped the strict weightloss routine and went back to a normal (but not really normal) life. I now don’t really feel like I’m controlling myself. Instead, I feel too comfortable that now I feel uncomfortable about it…(if you know what I mean…) The worst part is here: I kinda fixed my over-eating habit. However, I can’t fix my habit of eating snacks at night. I have so much work to do at night and I really need something in my mouth to focus. I started having plain yogurt and it ended to eating a bunch of chocolate and yogurt in the middle of the night. I really feel terrible about myself now. Even while I’m writing this blog, I want something in my mouth to chew. This month was a crazy month. There were a lot of tests and assignments that I became mentally exhausted. I just wanted to stop everything. Then I thought, “how am I supposed to keep myself motivated and healthy at college? They will require so much more work and exhaustion than high school… (while I’m still sturggling to control myself in highschool…) I just feel very lost. I have more work to do next week and I GUARANTEE that I will miss some boxing classes. How do people stay fit and productive with all of their work at the same time? I dream myself everyday being fit and productive at school. However, it has still been just a dream because I never achieved it. In my mind, I dream myself as a smart, skinny, pretty Julie and then I get sad that my reality is not even one step close to it. I want to change. I want to know what things I should fix first. This week's workout record and next week's workout plan!
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